June 2016
The only thing standing in your way towards happiness is you; no one else is allowed to set up limits for you but you, nor there should be. No matter what kind of problems you’re dealing with, how old you are or where you live, you deserve to be happy – it’s as simple as that. It’s time to face the fact that you’re in control of your future, and finally do something about it!
Give up excuses
The easiest way to avoid something is to make up an excuse for it, and we all do it occasionally. I know there’s that silent voice in your head that says these things aren’t true, but you always find a way to ignore it somehow, don’t you? However, if you decide to work on your happiness, it’s time to stop being lazy! you’re never too old to start something new and exciting.
Give up stress
Stressing out is good for nothing; it doesn’t help in solving that certain problem bothering you, it decreases your productivity and it violates your health. The first step towards getting rid of stress once and for all is admitting you’re under it. It’s not that difficult after you confront this problem – you just need to find the perfect way to channel your thoughts.
Give up regrets
The older we are, the smarter we get, right? Experience that we gather in time often has a way of showing us how bad some decisions in our past were. That’s obviously the price we pay for knowledge, and it’s not really pleasant, but it’s worth it. You need to face the fact that no one on this planet is perfect, and that we all make mistakes. The most important part about dealing with regrets is to find a way to forgive yourself first, and then ask for forgiveness from others. Don’t torture yourself any longer with things that simply can’t be fixed .
But sometimes, you’ll find yourself in a situation where you have to change your mind – and perhaps even go against what you’ve said to friends, family or colleagues. And there’s not necessarily anything wrong with that. In fact, being willing to change your mind – to be “open minded” – is hugely important in a world which changes fast.
Here are three situations where you’ll want to think about changing your mind…
When Reality Doesn’t Match Up to Your Expectations
Sometimes, you’ll have an idea which seems fine, but which doesn’t really work in the real world. When I was at college, I thought I’d enjoy an office job (because I’d done some office work in my vacations). After a month or two working a 9-5 job, though, I realized it wasn’t for me – I’d enjoyed it as a student because I knew it was only temporary.
Maybe you’ve had similar situations, where what you thought was right for you just didn’t work out in practice. This could be at work, or in your personal life. It’s okay to change your mind when reality makes you think again.
When You’ve Outgrown a Belief or Idea
I expect that you had strong beliefs as a teen or student which you don’t necessarily hold now. Perhaps you supported an extreme political party, had very firm religious views, or had a fixed idea on how the world should work.
Most of us are able to outgrow our rather juvenile beliefs – but we sometimes struggle to change our minds about things which we’ve subscribed to in adulthood. The truth is that we all continue to grow, change and learn – throughout our lives. Just because you were certain about something ten years ago doesn’t mean you need to believe it forever.
When the World has Changed Around You
We’re living in a time of incredibly rapid change. Fifteen years ago, dialup internet (or no internet at all) was the norm – now we’re used to wireless broadband not only at home but also in cafes and public spaces. New websites and applications like Facebook, Skype, Twitter and YouTube have only come into existence within the last decade.
It’s inevitable that some of our ideas and beliefs will need to change. As a writer, I’m keenly interested in the rapid changes in the world of publishing – and I’m recognizing that I may need to change my mind on some of the ideas which were perfectly sound a decade ago. For instance, with the advent of ebooks, self-published novelists finally stand a chance in the marketplace.
When have you had to change your mind in the past? And what changes to your ideas or beliefs look likely in the light of your development, and the development of the world around you?
The one constant thing in our life is change. We cannot avoid it and the more we resist change the tougher our life becomes. Trust me, I know this because I was very skilled at deflecting change in my life. We are surrounded by change and it is the one thing that has the most dramatic impact on our lives. Change has the ability to catch up with you at some point in your life. There is no avoiding it because it will find you, challenge you, and force you to reconsider how you live your life.
Change can come into our lives as a result of a crisis, as a result of choice or by chance. In either situation we are all faced with having to make a choice – do we make the change or not? I believe it is always better to make changes in your life when you choose to rather than being forced to.
We however cannot avoid the unexpected events (crisis) in our lives because it is these events that challenge our complacency in life. What we can control when we are experiencing these challenging events, is how we choose to respond to them. It is our power of choice that enables us to activate positive change in our lives.
Acting on our power of choice provides us with more opportunity to change our lives for the better. The more opportunities we create to change our lives the more fulfilled and happier our lives become. Here are 10 things that you can do in your life that will change your life for the good, forever:
1. Find Meaning In Life
Spend some time trying to sort out what is important in your life and why is it important. What is it that you want to achieve in your life? What are your dreams? What makes your happy? Your meaning in life gives you purpose and sets the direction of how you want to live your life. Without meaning you will spend the rest of your life wandering through life aimlessly with no direction, focus, or purpose.
2. Create A Dream Board
When we were children we would daydream all the time. We were skilled at dreaming and visualizing what we would be when we grew up. We believed that anything was possible. As we grew into adults we lost our ability to dream. Our dreams became hidden and once we started to feel like achieving our dreams was impossible.
A dream board is a great way for us to start believing in your own dreams again. Seeing our dreams every day on a dream board brings our dreams to life. Our dreams become real and we start to have believe in the possibility of achieving these dreams.
3. Set Your Goals To Achieve Your Dreams
Once you know what is important in your life and what your dream life looks like for you, you need to take action and set your long-term, medium, and short-term goals. It is acting on these goals that enable you to achieve your dreams
Remember your goals may change. Always be flexible with setting and achieving your goals as things in life change and your goals need to reflect these changes. It’s the small steps that you take that create the momentum for change to happen in your life.
4. Let Go Of Your Regrets
Regrets will only hold you back in life. Regrets are events of the past and if you spend all your time thinking about the past you will miss the present and the future. You cannot change what you did or did not do in the past, so let it go. The only thing you have control over now is how you choose to live your present and future life.
I had a heap of regrets that were holding me back in my life. I came across the “Balloon Exercise” and got rid of my regrets for good. What is it? It’s simple — blow up as many balloons as you need. On each balloon write a regret and then let the balloon go. As the balloon drifts off into the sky say goodbye to that regret forever. A simple and powerful exercise that works and can change how you live your life.
5. Choose Some Really Scary Things To Do And Then Do Them
This is all about you choosing to step out of your comfort zone. Public speaking is one of the most frightening things anyone can do. I was petrified of public speaking however, I knew that I wanted to be a motivational speaker. So I joined Toast Masters to overcome my fear of public speaking. My first speech was terrible, my knees were knocking, I broke out in a sweat and I couldn’t stop shaking. But I did it and the feeling of completing this speech, even though it was terrible was great. I chose to keep going and now I earn a living as a motivational speaker. I am still nervous when I get up to speak however it is an excited nervous and I love it.
Make a list of scary things that you would kind of like to do but are too afraid to. Put a plan in place and then go do them. Never stop doing scary things because if you do your life will become one of complacency and comfort.
6. Start Living A Well-Balanced Life
Our health does not remain the same. Our physical, emotional, and spiritual state changes, as we get older. What we can control however is how we feed our minds and our bodies. Living a balanced and healthy life builds our resilience to the physical changes of our body. Exercise is the best way in which we can attain a positive and optimistic attitude toward life.
Living a healthy, well-balanced life with lots of exercise is a lifestyle choice that without a doubt will give you a happier more satisfied and fulfilled life.
7. Face Your Fears
Its easy to ignore our fears and hope that they will go away. Unfortunately, it does not work like that. If you want to change your life, learn to master your fears so they can’t control you any longer. Our fears are only thoughts in our minds that are not real but over time we have become to believe that they are true. It is our fears in life that stop us from living our life to the fullest. We know when our fears are controlling our lives because we feel discontent, dissatisfied and unfulfilled.
Once we face our fears we take back our power to choose how we want to live our lives and when we do this we change our lives forever.
8. Accept You
The only person who is going to create change in your life is you! and to create that change you have to like you. There will be times in your life where you will face rejection and there will be people who will not like you that much. Accepting who you are and loving yourself helps you to move forward in your life. Putting yourself down all the time and wishing you could be better will only lead you to a life of unhappiness and discontent.
Find your courage, love yourself, and step out and do something crazy. Don’t worry about what anyone thinks or whether it is the right thing to do. In your heart if it feels right, act on it and go create the life you love.
9. Live In The Moment
Many of us tend to think that the grass is greener on the other side. Often, we get to the other side of the fence we find that this is not so. The motivation to change our lives comes from our desire to be happy. We are often so busy focusing on our pursuit of happiness that we miss the joy of actually living in the moment. Our desire to have happiness in our lives is a desire of a future state not of the present. We become so consumed with all our problems and discontent in the present we miss the precious beauty of the moment.
Sitting on the beach eating an ice-cream with your best friend or partner is a moment of happiness. Appreciating and showing gratitude on a daily basis is experiencing happiness in the moment. Helping those in need brings joy and happiness to us. This is what living our life in the moment is all about – don’t miss these moments because you are too busy focusing on your pursuit of happiness.
10. Experience The Joy Of Learning
Each time you learn something new you gain more knowledge and with more knowledge comes more confidence. Learning helps us to be more adaptable and flexible to new situations. Learning encourages us to be more creative and innovative in our thinking and we are therefor more comfortable with the unknown.
Reading books is a great way for us to learn. To fully embrace the joy of learning, never stop reading nor searching for more knowledge. Learning gives our life meaning and this is what makes our life worthwhile.
You have a choice to make as to how you want to change your life. Choosing to act on these 10 things will, without a doubt change your life forever.
While it’s all too easy to sink into despair, a pattern of worrying is harmful for you and anyone around you. To avoid worrying excessively and obsessively, check out these tips for how to stop holding yourself back and begin to actually live your life.
1. Instead of imagining worries, imagine possibilities
Remember that life is short, and time spent worrying is time wasted. Think of all the things you’ll get to do once you finally stop worrying. Realize how free you’re going to be. You want to run towards that, not walk. Enjoy your sprint and look forward to all kinds of new possibilities that lie beyond the checkered tape.
2. Be yourself: “Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.”
One of the best guidebooks to realizing that worrying is a useless, harmful endeavor is named, fittingly enough, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. One of its best quotes is, “Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.”
You’ll face inner turmoil if you try to be anyone other than yourself. Besides that truth, there is the fact that not many people can pull off the facade. There aren’t many with good enough acting skills, and even the ones who possess them aren’t happy in their self-imposed roles.
3. Learn apathy
There’s a lot of focus on learning empathy so you care more about other people. But apathy is equally important, if not more so, in regards to your personal well being. Apathy is defined as “a lack of interest, enthusiasm and concern.” To stop worrying, you should focus on that third part. The less you concern yourself with what others are thinking or even saying about you, the less weight you’re putting on yourself.
4. Feel good about yourself
This sounds obvious, but far more people fail this test than pass it. Take pride in who you are, and don’t dwell on what you’re not. Others in your life, like parents, siblings, and friends, are surely already proud of you, so all you have to do is stop worrying and mimic their attitudes.
5. Don’t force things, let them happen naturally
When we’re anxious for something, we wait and wait for something to happen. That leads to excessive worrying that it will never come to pass. It’s far better to keep those thoughts out of your head and just let things happen when they happen.
6. Don’t hate
How to Stop Worrying and Start Living states, “When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us: power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness.”
Not only do the people who wronged us not deserve to (often unknowingly) hold that power, you shouldn’t have to sacrifice it. Hatred can only serve as an engine for more hate. Worrying and being proven correct may justify hate in your eyes, but remember that you are, as the saying goes, only drinking poison and expecting it to kill your enemy.
7. Believe in something bigger than yourself
If you focus on solely you and your life, you will constantly be worrying and not have the energy to do much else. By embracing a higher power, you healthily distract yourself from your negative thoughts. And that higher power doesn’t need to be a god or a religion! It’s whatever you put stock in, whether that’s family, friendship, honesty, goodwill, or something else entirely. To stop worrying so much, you simply need a purpose that goes beyond just your needs.
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